Morgellons Disease; How Does it Really Feel to be Alone and Abandoned?

Morgellons Disease; 

How Does it Really Feel to be Alone and Abandoned?

It all started with the fibers.  I first noticed them about 3 years ago. First, there were small ones; blue, black and sometimes white.  I had no idea what they were, but they were of great concern to me. Then I began to notice black specks on my pillow and bed sheets when I awoke in the morning. What were these mysterious objects growing out of my body? One day, I even saw a ‘critter’ come out of the corner of my left eye. 

Then the lesions came; first one small one, then many others. The lesions started on my chest, then moved up my neck and now the lesions are on my face. I was hideous-looking so I decided not to go out in publicanymore until these horrible lesions were gone.  I began to keep to myself while my husband and two children (ages 7 and 10) wondered ‘where did Mommy go?’

Next, the feeling of “biting and scratching” began to cover my entire body.  This drove me crazy since it never stopped. Imagine how you might feel with animals of some sort crawling all over your body and not knowing what they are.

I was beginning to feel frightened by all of this, so I went to our family doctor.  Once in his office, he began to examine me.  It felt like he was in a hurry and not very interested.  He suggested that these manifestations were just the result of too much stress in my life and further referred me to a Dermatologist. I was beginning to feel disconnected from all of this.  I felt alone and not my cheery self and I had no idea why.

I was feeling more depressed.  I felt ‘isolated’ from the things in my life that are important to me.  Who was I becoming I wondered?

Finally, the day arrived when I and my husband was to meet with the Dermatologist.  I thought I would help him so I had been collecting ‘things’ that were coming out of my body to show him.  He took one look at my ‘collection’ and without even examining me, he said that I was suffering from what is called Delusions of Parasitosis (DOP).  He went on to say that I needed psycho-tropic drugs, wrote me a prescription and sent me on my way.

I left feeling the lowest I have ever felt. My husband, having heard the Doctor’s diagnosis, began to doubt me and withdraw his support.  My kids were thinking that Mom had finally ‘lost it’.  Depressed and without hope, I began to think about suicide.  I really did not want to kill myself; what I really wanted was my original life back with the love and support of my family and the return of my good health that I had enjoyed before this infection (and taken for granted).

My family and friends began to withdraw as well and I found myself feeling completely hopeless and isolated.  My memory was not like it used to be, I could no longer think clearly.  I began to cry.  I cried for hours at atime, not knowing what was happening to me. No one knew what to do with me.  Each and every day began to be a nightmare of pain, confusion and misery.  Morgellons had stolen my life and I wanted it back; I just had no idea how to do that.

My husband thinks that Morgellons is contagious so he has not touched me in any way for more than two years now.  We don’t kiss or hug or make love anymore. I feel like I can not hug my kids since no one seems to know if Morgellons is contagious or not. I am concluding that my life is over.

I began to search on the Internet and found far too much scary stuff about Morgellons.  The microscopic pictures frightened me the most since I have no real scientific background and did not understand what I was looking at.

The Moderators  of these forums seem to be just as crazy as the Doctors.  Morgellons sufferers are looking for ways to either reduce their misery of find a cure.  Yet when anyone mentions a product of any kind, the Moderators of these so-called forums immediately ‘ban’ the poster from their boards thinking that they are in some way protecting their members. This kind of censorship further discourages me so I stopped watching the boards altogether.

I just wanted to die.  Had it not been for my children, I probably would have.

Like most Morgellons sufferers, I began to try many different products.  Most did absolutely nothing for me except drain my pocketbook.  All of these products were topical.  I suspected that since I felt Morgellons deep inside my body, topical products would, at best, only relieve some of the symptoms.  I instinctively knew that I had to drive out this infection from the inside of my body.

The crying continued for days on end.  What was I to do?  Hanging by a thread, I discovered a product called NutraSilver.  It is a natural mineral that is taken orally.  I had done my homework, read the scientific information and was impressed that this company had hired FDA-certified independent labs to conduct in-vitro testing on the worst pathogens known.  The results were astonishing; ‘kill rates’ were decisively impressive, even when the worst known flesh-eating pathogen, MRSA was tested.

So I bought some NutraSilver and gave it a try.  When I ordered, I spoke with their Customer Service department and was told in the strongest terms that if I followed the instructions exactly, I would heal or they would give my money back to me. This seemed reasonable, so I decided to follow the instructions just as written.

And heal I did!  Hurray!

In less than two weeks my mental issues were completely gone; no more ‘brain fog,’ or fatigue and my depression were going away too.  It was then that I realized that Morgellons had caused these symptoms and that the NutraSilver was eliminating them.  At the same time, my lesions began to dry up. Within a week or so they began to shrink and with three weeks they fell off and were completely gone! 

I can not begin to tell you how I felt then.  Now, my tears were of joy.  I was ‘myself’ again.  My family began to notice the change in me and started to warm up to me again.  They were just as happy to have me back as I was to be a familyagain. I began to forget about Morgellons.  I take a small maintenance dose every day and have been symptom-free for about four months now.